Ricardo scratched the itch behind his ear underneath his gamer headphones. A loud 'bing!' sound echoed just as he scratched, the volume of the 'bing!' meant it was a large donation. Ricardo leaned forward towards the monitor. '$100 from Hegelsmirkingeist.'
Ricardo drank the last of his Monster Energy then crushed the can onto his forehead, obligated to speedrun Hegelsmirkingeist's game request. Ricardo squinted at the screen. 'Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly for Playstation 2.'
'Spyro? That's nonsensical. You can’t speedrun Spyro..' Ricardo searched for the Spyro rom in his Playstation 2 folder, baffled by his popularity on Twitch.
He knew he was amusing when he'd get frustrated with a game and screamed 'This game is such pure unmitigated ass fuckery! FUCK! Did a bunch of inbred jap-tards design this SHIT GAME OR WHAT?’
But his success felt hollow. Friends would say he had the good life. Ricardo knew they only could see the positives, like the money. They had no clue about the downsides. Ricardo was never one to divulge his personal demons. No one knew his profound unhappiness and how unfulfilled Ricardo was with his life, with everything, his girlfriend, the twitch stream, his job, the flimsy spatula he could hardly use to cook hamburgers with, and above all else, with society. It’s why Ricardo would spend hours on Youtube watching videos on 'Off the grid living' and 'Tinyhouse construction', fantasizing about the day he could live off the grid and write music full time. Chill music, like a modern take on Jason Mraz, you know that guy, he had that one song, the ‘I’m Yours’ song.
One night on stream he was playing Final Fantasy X and super frustrated trying to figure out the Blitzball minigame he blurted out something unexpected… a vision for a better life. ‘If I started a gofundme to buy a Tinyhouse would you guys donate? It's my dream to live off grid for a year... you know, so I could make music. Maybe I could write a lo-fi album, something like Mac DeMarco meets Panda Bear…’
Ricardo didn't expect anyone to take him seriously. He figured most of his audience were waiting for him to curse at the game. Then… 'Bing!' A $50 donation with a message attached, 'Do it Ricardo! Go for it! Buy a Tinyhouse!'
A month later...
Ricardo asked his girlfriend Rebecca to meet at the Costco food court. He was there to buy bulk supplies, like Oats, bottled water, and all kinds of shit… the necessities he'd need in his Tinyhouse out there in the Nebraska wilderness. Rebecca would be upset by Ricardo’s plans but he also knew she loved Costco smoothies from the food court. Small comforts can heal the soul.
'Rebecca, we won't be able to see each other anymore. I'm moving into a Tinyhouse in Nebraska and recording an album.' he revealed. 'It'll be dope, like a Panda Bear record, but not entirely influenced by Panda Bear, maybe early Grimes, and early Phil Collins, No Jacket Required era. And, dig this, the bonus goal to print 500 vinyls with custom magenta and blue color drips succeeded. Vinyl. I'm pressing a vinyl. How sick is that?'
'You were serious about the Tinyhouse thing? I mean, that wasn't a bit?'
'It totally was not a bit, it's all happening, baby!' Ricardo said excitedly, oblivious to Rebecca's feels.
Ricardo took a bite from his Costco hot dog. ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this to me at the fucking Costco.’
'I love you, but this society...' Ricardo peered towards the Costco, the consumers, the fatties, the dad's and their miserable faces. ‘I belong off the grid in a Tinyhouse.’
He stared at it all in wonder. ‘Ricardo, you are so damned re***ded!’ Rebecca said. 'Your music is not good! Panda Bear?! Panda Bear is a musical prodigy and insanely talented. You, you are not a musician! This is a really bad idea.'
'Rebecca - stop! I supported your dreams! When you were all into make up tutorials and the vlogging. I even bought you that LED light for your birthday. Whatever. This is why I don’t think we make much sense anymore. You don't support the arts! And you don't appreciate music! I mean, you still listen to Katy Perry and Paramore.'
'Oh my god! That was one time, Ricardo! 'Misery Business' happened to be on my playlist, I'm soooo sorry you had to endure that. Even though it's an amazing song.'
'That's what you get when you let your heart win, I guess.' Ricardo said.
'Shut the fuck up.', her eyes began to tear up. 'I hope it works out for you, but just know, when you see a girl stylin' and wildin' inside the mix hoppin' out the whips, the whips, the five and six, there won't be any baby imma do right.' she declared.
'It'll be ok, Rebecca.'
Rebecca wiped the lone tear she wasn't able to hold back. She gripped her smoothie and stood up. 'Goodbye, Ricardo.'
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